Compacted with confusion.
and dusted with fear.
I know the unknown traps me.
Slows my footing,
and snaps my vision.
Breaking my moments,
and forcing indecision.
I can’t stabilize my instability,
or fortify my step.
I shake inside
and fall hard
upon your breath.
A wavering commitment
to my foot’s greatest feat.
Questioning my future,
and the strength in my reach.
A Break In My Step
Monty Wheeler says
I always walk in awe when I walk away from here. . .and this time’s the same, dear jess 🙂 love your works
Thank you Monty, you are too kind to this lady. 🙂
Brilliant…as always. I’m off to buy your book.. : )
Aw, I am honored Louise! I truly hope you enjoy it. I look forward to your feedback. 🙂
Claudia Schönfeld says
upon your breath…i love the image you create with this jess
Thank you so much Claudia! Love & Hugs to you. 🙂
wow…intense…shaking in sanity’s walls…nice word play and vivid image…we will never know what is next until we take the step…nice one shot
Thank you Brian. Your feedback always means a lot to me.
Indecisiveness among fear of the unknown prompts paralysis, and does cause those proverbial walls to shake. Riveting, real, yet hopeful due to the effort made through the reach of the final line.
oops… please add an “e” to what should read “made” thank you.
Fixed. Thank you for stopping by and the comment Dustus. 🙂
Henry Clemmons (Effects of Light) says
I can’t stabilize my instability. I believe there is a club for that. Great write, great line. Enjoyed MUCH!!!!!!!!!
Thank you! I appreciate that. 🙂
Leslie Moon says
Jess -Like the way you deal with unsurety / strong sentiment- well done my dear
Hope all is well with you and the book
Thank you Leslie 🙂
I understand that wavering that comes before you take that first new step. It can be paralyzing to step into the unknown, even though the future is as you say “in reach”.
Exactly! Thank you Katherine.
Gay Cannon says
I felt as though you were on the structure of a skyscraper climbing high above the city cement tears, burning corners, climbing higher without sure footing, never knowing if you’ll fall – but if you can make it there, I’m sure you’ll make it anywhere. A true picture of looking into the unknown and possibly losing your sense of direction.
Well done. Gay
Well said Gay. Thank you so much for reading. 🙂
Eric 'Bubba' Alder says
Next time take the bus. 🙂
Nice One Stop, Jessica.
Hahaha, seriously! 😀
I really like the lines
“I shake inside
and fall hard
upon your breath.” — it spoke volumes of the lost feeling, the sense of blankness and nothingness, and then that glint (almost false) of hope seen in another’s eye… followed by further falling-into-the-dungeon feeling.. (sigh)
What a poem! Gives one a lot to ponder over…
Thank you Kavita. I am glad it made you think. It is always nice to have people read into – and project their feelings into your words. That is what it is all about… finding your own story.
Some wonderful choices here Jess, both in your words,and phrasing. I like the progression in the piece and the way you reinforce previous lines for example
‘snaps my vision’ is also very effective as it introduces sound into the piece, cleverly done in a line about sight.
upon your breath’ is one of those lines that I think – damn I wish I’d written that.
Really enjoyed this piece.
I know too well how the unknown traps, well said.
Luke Prater says
Nice piece, Jess… the imagery is very strong in places, and the rhyme you have underscores that.
Thank you so much Luke. I always appreciate you reading. 😀