I miss you sometimes. It lasts for several minutes – then I fight off your ghosts, and put to sleep your echoes. It gets easier, as I am reminded of your miscarriage of my heart. You abused a gift, while using smoke and mirrors for a clean retreat. I give you credit for the game you played, but I hope you know I won. I slipped out with minimal bruising, though I must admit my head was not held high. I felt foolish for a long time. I am mostly now – just filled with apathy. Your repetitive cries laminate my champion’s certificate. I will make a copy for you.
Your reflection is beaten. Look again and see it this time.
Sometimes I want to stab you with relentless truths, but I pull back my tongue and lay to rest my hand. It is the right thing to do. I will give you this failure. I can’t bring to light what is already shining for all to see.
I hope your words will soon become your own. And the echoes I hear won’t just be ripped from another’s pages. Maybe because you know that your own tongue – melts to the touch and ripples with the wind. Failing in its intended purpose… and so painfully repetitive.
My next step crackles like a fire and shapes a new legacy. This was not just another broken heart. Destruction for a better reconstruction. I see much clearer – now that there is so much more fire… and far less, bullshit smoke.
Keats says
I like this. It reminds me of how I felt after my divorce. Keen and new with my recent breaking, I reconstructed myself in my own image… Instead of the image of the woman my husband had wanted me to be… This piece is simple and well put.
jessicakristie says
Thank you! I am happy you could relate. I appreciate you stopping by. ??
Keats says
No problem. popped up on twitter, liked the title… Was not disappointed. 🙂
booguloo says
Resigning to win. A good palette cleaner.
jessicakristie says
Haha, thank you my dear! ?
Nassar says
I like it much much. “I give you credit for the game you played, but I hope you know I won” Jessica Kristie said. Your head is high.You are wonderful.
Nassar
jessicakristie says
Thank you! Sometimes you have to dig deep for inspiration, even if it comes from something years ago. Often times reflection makes for a honest write, even if they are fleeting emotions. I appreciate you stopping by. 🙂
brian says
burn it down, rebuild it better…the bs smoke is a big waste of time…
jessicakristie says
Agreed. Sometimes you just have to count your losses and start again. You are always better for it. Thanks for reading. ?
Christopher Zara says
I like this. I wish I had a champion’s certificate of my own.
jessicakristie says
Aw, glad you like it. Hey, we don’t always walk away with one. More times than not – we don’t. Just as long as we can always take something from each experience. Thank you so much for reading. ?
Claudia says
ouch – lots of pain in this and sometimes the smoke is so heavy that we get lost and cough with our eyes all red – good to do away with all the “damp wood” which is only causing smoke and keeps the fire from burning…
jessicakristie says
Damp wood… that is a good one. Thank you for reading Claudia! ??
betweenhearts75 says
Very very well written….the old saying comes to mind… “reap what you sow” 🙂 Such strength dear friend, love how a “new legacy” is “shaped” ABSOLUTELY!!! 🙂 ~April
jessicakristie says
Thank you April! ??
terri says
“Your repetitive cries laminate my champion’s certificate. I will make a copy for you.”
…omfg. Exactly what I feel after my divorce – but lack the creativity to bring it to life such as you have.
LOVE this.
;)t
jessicakristie says
Glad you stopped by to read it Terri and happy I was able to help bring some words to your feelings, it is an honor.
XO ?
dani says
“I give you credit for the game you played, but I hope you know I won.”
Wonderful attitude. Wonderful writing.
jessicakristie says
Thank you! I appreciate you reblogging it. You are a sweetheart. Love & Hugs. ?
Poesravenlady says
Every word seeps raw emotion. A beautiful tragedy. Well done my friend!!!
jessicakristie says
Thank you lovely lady! ??
gospelwriter says
Your opening words got me – and on and on… you could be writing about me. I have tried writing it myself, but, I like your words and phrasing infinitely better. Thanks! 🙂
jessicakristie says
Thank you! I am honored you felt a connection with these words. I appreciate you reading! ?
Chris G. says
Oldie and a goody. Simple, straightforward – and one a lot of people here, obviously, could relate to. Emotional piece with a good, strong attitude.
And by the by…congrats on all your recent success, my friend! 😀
Jessica says
Thank you Chris! You are such a sweetheart. I appreciate you reading again and for your support. Love & Hugs. ?
Monty Wheeler (bumfuzzled2004) says
“. . .pull back my tongue and lay to rest my hand” you had me from hello, dear jess, but none better in this piece than the line above 🙂
Monty / bummy
Jessica says
I am glad I had you from hello…. ?
poemblaze says
I think most of us can relate to this. Getting past the pain and trying to learn something from it. Good writing.
Jessica says
Thank You! 🙂
bkmackenzie says
“the miscarriage of my heart”….that is the line that held me to it…that is a powerful statement…..blessings…bkm
Jessica says
I am glad you connected and kept reading. *Big Hugs* 🙂
brian says
great write jessica…full of emotion…the line about the champion certificate jumped out at me first…and you took it from there…
Jessica says
Thank you Brian! 🙂
Gay Cannon says
Well executed, all the figures fit together even the last BS –fire, smoke and mirrors. I gave this kind of relationship in life a miss and never missed it. I had a little experience in my early youth I guess this was my parents’ kind and maybe it gave me some warnings; though I think I just happened to be lucky. I’m glad you are or the narrator, at least, is well out of it. Good piece though, Jessica! Gay
Jessica says
Thank you Gay! Relationships are never easy, friendships or romantic. I think this is just a tough lesson of finding out someone was not who they said they were or claimed to be. We all experience that at one time or another and it is never fun. 🙂
Kavita says
Ack.. this was heartbreaking, Jessica! In those wars spurring out of love, nobody ever really wins…do they??
And yet, we come out of it, with a hope for something better than bad… And thus lives that hope, and hence, us!
Loved the way you expressed this mangled in-between feeling, J… very beautifully done!!
xoxo
Jessica says
Thank you beautiful!
hpicasso says
title suggestion “Six Million Dollar Woman”…better, stronger…
Peace, hp
I have some words
Jessica says
Lol, I am with you there! 🙂
G.K.Bostic says
Great write! I especially like “Your repetitive cries laminate my champion’s certificate. I will make a copy for you.” Enjoyed this!
Jessica says
Thank you for reading! 🙂
Shashi says
Dear Jessica
What a powerful prose poetry.., with your choice of words like…’I am reminded of your miscarriage of my heart. ‘ it became even more powerful…. your words as you say were knife like, stabbing like truth.. Great one shot. I enjoyed it throughly.. and I relate to it too..
? ??? ?????
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-winter-dew.html
Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Jessica says
Thank you sweetie. I am glad you liked it!
Jingle Poetry says
fabulous…love the message..
keep it up..
Please feel free to share 1 to 3 poems with our potluck poetry today, first time participants could use old poems or poems unrelated to our theme, Thanks..
Happy Monday!
Jessica says
Thank you and I will check out your site!