I have seen this before… so many times. You speak of grandeur while acting in angst. Pleading and begging to be loved. You deserve to be loved, I would never deny that. It just hurts to watch you swoon with twisted self loathing clouding your judgment. You are not the friend you claim to be – so far from it. That is simply more justification, for your failing grip on what lies beneath.
It breaks me to see the truth. I wish I could continue like everyone else, believing your bantering lies of prosperity. I want to fix you – but my love, you are not mine to fix. You are your own, beautiful in your own right. Not beyond repair or reproach. A blessing to many, and even a Band-Aid to some. I don’t discount your effect, and reach to those you have made a connection with.
I, one of the many who love you deeply…
I, one of the few who seem to see your bitter breath
You are full of little jabs and stings. Acting out with jealousy and plaguing yourself with distant walls. I reach out but am denied. You see me as an unjustifiable threat; belittling only you in the process.
I love when your sweetness comes through; I hang on and humbly take the bones you throw. I tread lightly knowing the ice is thin. I still venture out…and I still wait for you. You want to bust out of your bondage; I see that with every word…and I wait.
I admire your strength. You always move forward, part with pride and part with fear. I feel your desire to be safe. To search for shelter beneath your fiery throws and poisoned lashings.
You need destruction. You need to break completely so you can come back together – better… stronger. With all of my heart I wish you stillness long enough to let go of YOU. Long enough to see beyond that selfish, insecure grasp, which seems to rule – your all too often… pathetic actions.
It is hard to be still
In shifting sand
Hard to breathe
Being dealt this hand
Hard to heal when troubles brew
Hard to love
But you will be strong tomorrow
See another day
Another chance to start again
Take my hand
No need to sit here
In sinking sand
I’m here… and I won’t let you go