Drowning

I forgot you once,
as the night stilled and the restlessness peered through my back window . . .
and so did you.
Breaking down the whispers of the wind to remind me,
that again–
I have failed.

It is a place I should feel at ease.
A notion that had never really left me,
but continued to sway with the rhythms of my back-steps.
A dance where the muscles inside my body
need no direction.

There is a fluidity buried in my heart
that will always seem to be overpowered by misfortune.
A blanket to cover the blessings.
While the perception remains
that I have drowned.
I beg you to pierce the veil.
See something – anything – that will wash the pity from your face.
My wounds are not a lesson for you,
they are a deep and painfully raw
message for me.
Your judgment need not sit at my door,
I will gladly let you in.
Because despite the ugliness that my bones creak,
or the humanity that this world bleeds,
I will not rule my skin with anything other than what runs from my soul.
It is God’s design for us to love,
and even in the midst of my darkness
that is what I will do.