More Fire – Less Smoke

I miss you sometimes.  It lasts for several minutes – then I fight off your ghosts, and put to sleep your echoes.  It gets easier, as I am reminded of your miscarriage of my heart. You abused a gift, while using smoke and mirrors for a clean retreat.  I give you credit for the game you played, but I hope you know I won.  I slipped out with minimal bruising, though I must admit my head was not held high. I felt foolish for a long time. I am mostly now – just filled with apathy.  Your repetitive cries laminate my champion’s certificate.  I will make a copy for you.

Your reflection is beaten.  Look again and see it this time.

Sometimes I want to stab you with relentless truths, but I pull back my tongue and lay to rest my hand.  It is the right thing to do.  I will give you this failure. I can’t bring to light what is already shining for all to see.

I hope your words will soon become your own.  And the echoes I hear won’t just be ripped from another’s pages.  Maybe because you know that your own tongue – melts to the touch and ripples with the wind.  Failing in its intended purpose… and so painfully repetitive.

My next step crackles like a fire and shapes a new legacy.  This was not just another broken heart. Destruction for a better reconstruction.  I see much clearer – now that there is so much more fire… and far less, bullshit smoke.

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46 comments

  1. I like this. It reminds me of how I felt after my divorce. Keen and new with my recent breaking, I reconstructed myself in my own image… Instead of the image of the woman my husband had wanted me to be… This piece is simple and well put.

  2. I like it much much. “I give you credit for the game you played, but I hope you know I won” Jessica Kristie said. Your head is high.You are wonderful.

    Nassar

    1. Thank you! Sometimes you have to dig deep for inspiration, even if it comes from something years ago. Often times reflection makes for a honest write, even if they are fleeting emotions. I appreciate you stopping by. 🙂

    1. Aw, glad you like it. Hey, we don’t always walk away with one. More times than not – we don’t. Just as long as we can always take something from each experience. Thank you so much for reading. ?

  3. ouch – lots of pain in this and sometimes the smoke is so heavy that we get lost and cough with our eyes all red – good to do away with all the “damp wood” which is only causing smoke and keeps the fire from burning…

  4. “Your repetitive cries laminate my champion’s certificate. I will make a copy for you.”

    …omfg. Exactly what I feel after my divorce – but lack the creativity to bring it to life such as you have.

    LOVE this.
    ;)t

  5. Your opening words got me – and on and on… you could be writing about me. I have tried writing it myself, but, I like your words and phrasing infinitely better. Thanks! 🙂

  6. Oldie and a goody. Simple, straightforward – and one a lot of people here, obviously, could relate to. Emotional piece with a good, strong attitude.

    And by the by…congrats on all your recent success, my friend! 😀

    1. Thank you Chris! You are such a sweetheart. I appreciate you reading again and for your support. Love & Hugs. ?

  7. Well executed, all the figures fit together even the last BS –fire, smoke and mirrors. I gave this kind of relationship in life a miss and never missed it. I had a little experience in my early youth I guess this was my parents’ kind and maybe it gave me some warnings; though I think I just happened to be lucky. I’m glad you are or the narrator, at least, is well out of it. Good piece though, Jessica! Gay

    1. Thank you Gay! Relationships are never easy, friendships or romantic. I think this is just a tough lesson of finding out someone was not who they said they were or claimed to be. We all experience that at one time or another and it is never fun. 🙂

  8. Ack.. this was heartbreaking, Jessica! In those wars spurring out of love, nobody ever really wins…do they??
    And yet, we come out of it, with a hope for something better than bad… And thus lives that hope, and hence, us!

    Loved the way you expressed this mangled in-between feeling, J… very beautifully done!!

    xoxo

  9. fabulous…love the message..
    keep it up..

    Please feel free to share 1 to 3 poems with our potluck poetry today, first time participants could use old poems or poems unrelated to our theme, Thanks..
    Happy Monday!

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