I have seen this before… so many times. You speak of grandeur while acting in angst. Pleading and begging to be loved. You deserve to be loved, I would never deny that. It just hurts to watch you swoon with twisted self loathing clouding your judgment. You are not the friend you claim to be – so far from it. That is simply more justification, for your failing grip on what lies beneath.
It breaks me to see the truth. I wish I could continue like everyone else, believing your bantering lies of prosperity. I want to fix you – but my love, you are not mine to fix. You are your own, beautiful in your own right. Not beyond repair or reproach. A blessing to many, and even a Band-Aid to some. I don’t discount your effect, and reach to those you have made a connection with.
I, one of the many who love you deeply…
I, one of the few who seem to see your bitter breath
You are full of little jabs and stings. Acting out with jealousy and plaguing yourself with distant walls. I reach out but am denied. You see me as an unjustifiable threat; belittling only you in the process.
I love when your sweetness comes through; I hang on and humbly take the bones you throw. I tread lightly knowing the ice is thin. I still venture out…and I still wait for you. You want to bust out of your bondage; I see that with every word…and I wait.
I admire your strength. You always move forward, part with pride and part with fear. I feel your desire to be safe. To search for shelter beneath your fiery throws and poisoned lashings.
You need destruction. You need to break completely so you can come back together – better… stronger. With all of my heart I wish you stillness long enough to let go of YOU. Long enough to see beyond that selfish, insecure grasp, which seems to rule – your all too often… pathetic actions.
It is hard to be still
In shifting sand
Hard to breathe
Being dealt this hand
Hard to heal when troubles brew
Hard to love
Being you
Crossroads haunt
But you will be strong tomorrow
See another day
Another chance to start again
Breathe deeply
Take my hand
No need to sit here
In sinking sand
I’m here… and I won’t let you go
JTW says
wow. very powerful post. my new favorite of yours.
“I want to fix you – but my love, you are not mine to fix.” -a sad but true realization. even harder when they haven’t yet “broken completely.” at that point all you can do is sit back & watch it happen. and try not to get hit by the shrapnel. 🙁
that’s an awesome video, by the way.
xo
jessicakristie says
Thank you! The video initially inspired along with some real life experience. It is a balance to love someone through all the BS without getting hurt. Sometimes people are worth it, and sometimes they are not.
It is not only a reflection on others, but on us too.
Love & Hugs
XO
Vic says
“I’m here… and I won’t let you go” — You bet 🙂
jessicakristie says
You know it. ?
Rajiam says
Awesome. I was broken once. There were those still waiting. I had to fix myself. They made it easier. I let go of everything to survive, but I made it.
Travels
I have traveled with you in the mind
A voyage of discoveries in time
Of all the thoughts you thought were yours
How many thoughts were really Mine?
The things you think beyond your reach
To you may not be clear
The things to you that seem so far
Those things exist right here
There is no lack or limit
Though you might think there is
A change in thought is all it takes
To have the things you wish
The Secret is that all things are
And this has all ways been
You can have it all right now
Just love the world you’re in
Copyright 2007
Rajiam Pursifull
Take care and thanks for your thoughts.
jessicakristie says
Thanks for reading and thank you for sharing your lovely words! ?
betweenhearts75 says
So incredibly well done, as always. So strong, full of emotion….*sigh for sand this week… *hugs April
Deset Rose says
Your words touched my heart Jessie, the piece, the verse. too powerful, yet tender and absolutely mind blowing. thank you my beautiful poet for being a constant inspiration and a charming ray of light that is just shining 🙂
jessicakristie says
Thank you my lovely rose. Your encouragement means so much to me. Love you!
jjvioletpoet says
I always love the pace of your poems. I feel like they are the bass drum of a hard rock band and then in the middle of your poems the electric guitar, rhythm guitar and bass kick in. Each word I can tell is carefully chosen and meticulously placed. Loved it!
jessicakristie says
What a cool description! Thank you my dear, I am honored by your sweet compliments.
xo
moondustwriter says
W0W Jess
I wish I could say I didn’t understand this but I do. Poignant and says what it needs to say.
Moonie hugs
jessicakristie says
Thank you & I love your hugs! ?
Sammy Sutton says
True…Far too often. Beautiful poem with marked insight!
Thanks for Sharing!
Sammy Sutton
jessicakristie says
Thank you for reading! Hard sometimes to state painful truth, but it makes for some good release. ?
blackvelvetsea says
Love the flow, Jessica…Amazing!
jessicakristie says
Thank you sweetie! Appreciate that. ?
Kev says
Love this- thank you x
jessicakristie says
Thank you! ?
wordblender says
This is stunning. I wish I wrote it. 🙂 It speaks to me. Thank you!
jessicakristie says
I really appreciate your lovely comment and for reading! It means a lot. I admire you and your writing so much, so I am humbled. ?
brian says
a beautiful and heart felt write…wanting so much for that person…realizing you can not fix them…it feels rather helpless but you still seem to have hope…nice one shot.
jessicakristie says
Thank you Brian! ?
bkmackenzie says
a poem of intense wanting to help…I have been there…we can not fix another…but be there we can be, and we can continue to love…thank you…bkm
jessicakristie says
A painful truth… we can not fix one another. Thank you for reading! ?
marousia says
Beautiful words
jessicakristie says
Thank you, love!
shewriting says
Heart-felt writing here. I have been on both sides of your story and I know it well. You’ve described it perfectly. I especially like the sand metaphor…it is so true that the more we fight it alone, the further we sink, and that damn pride keeps some of us from grabbing the out-reached hand that is willing to help pull us out. I have been wanting to stop by here for a while now and I am glad I did today!
jessicakristie says
I am glad you came by too! Love & Hugs.
hedgewitch says
Heart felt and hard hitting, full of insights and a perspective and advice no one ever seems to take until its too late. (Also–great video.)
jessicakristie says
Thank you! Love that video. Adds to the write by it not only being external, but internal too.
Reilley says
This was both lovely and remarkably apt. Awesome One-Shot!
jessicakristie says
Thank you so much! ?
Kavita says
That’s some excellent bit of writing, Jessica…wow!! Powerful stuff! Felt like a super reflective piece… recognizing one’s strengths and flaws, and accepting them is a feat by itself…and acting upon them..now that’s another ballgame altogether!!
Very well expressed in this One Shot, my friend.. Kudos!
jessicakristie says
Thank you so much sweetie. Glad you enjoyed it! ??
Shashi says
Dear Jessica
The assurance in the end is so uplifting.. I loved this post.. thanks
? ??? ?????
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
booguloo says
Not yet, the reflection of the sun burns my eyes in the mirror.
Tomorrow’s clouds promise no rains that could possibly blur.
Hold on. Hold on to me tight I just need your words to nurture.
Where did that come from.. the inspiration of fallen tears?
Guess your words were meant for my ears…
jessicakristie says
Beautiful. xoxox
Samanthamj says
great post. grea blog. that song… (everybody’s fool) once – not so long ago – I felt like it was my theme song. I’m glad I don’t feel that way anymore….
jessicakristie says
I love that song, and the video! I agree, not a wonderful way to feel or witness someone else feeling either. Thank you for reading!
Alone in Abyss says
I just found your blog the other day so I haven’t read many of your poems…but so far this one is my favorite. (: I love your style and the meaning beyond your words & feelings. I have only just begun writing poems so I could never express myself as well as you do but I hope one day I will (: Amazing poem. <333
jessicakristie says
I am glad you found me and happy you are enjoying my work. Thank you for reading and commenting! ??