The aftermath of your deception numbs like snow beneath my bare feet. My tourniquet of fishing wire brings no relief, but there is freedom in the sound of my skin bruising. My blood clots in your name. Your devastation is legendary – as was your romance.
Too many times the path of least resistance was my chosen direction. Temporary peace from a cracked sky. Burning page after burning – pre-determined page. I wrote that end long ago. Often I closed my eyes, but I always knew the direction of the wind. Holding up my finger to test, dipping my toe in to ease my way. I refuse pity even though my wounds are deep. Running underground and with motions swift – while I am still floundering upstream.
Your language is empty – poverty and earthquake stricken. Broken buildings of your soul lay upon my limbs and I haven’t eaten for days. You manage to always strike quickly with each falling sword of tongue and hand. I gasp for breath beneath the weight of your heavy but so very empty grasp. I am challenged by your eyes as they attack like daggers. Stumbling upon your back, you pin me up against every wall that stands in your way.
Every wall that looks at you with indifference
Every wall that displays even an ounce of weakness
My hands feel like the biggest barrier to redemption. They keep me here listening to the outside while my true life crumbles within a bubble of my own past, present and put-off future. The morning comes again while the moon has left me here with only what you give.
This Mourning
There was so much you could have given me this morning
A smile
A touch from your sweet lips
The taste of your tongue
I could have been drenched in the ecstasy of your finger tips
Lost within your soulful smile
I should have awoken to the sounds of the morning
Breathing down my side
Yet…
I was awakened by the leather of your belted words
And the creaking of my stunted heart
No effort for my healing
I am captured in this forgotten mourning
Twisted in this laid out fate
Drunk amidst your desperate mentions
Lost behind a rescue
Too little too late
thinkingtoohard13 says
Unbelievable. You had me at “deception” and I felt it all the way through. Blown away, girl. So very well done.
jessicakristie says
Thank you! Always means so much coming from you. You are always ripping my heart out with YOUR words! Love you lady. ?
stuckinthemoment46 says
This is more than powerful. You are extremely talented Jess. The words you find to display such strong emotion plays a reel of moving stories in my head. Much Love ??
jessicakristie says
Aw, thank you so much! You made my heart sing just then. So happy you enjoyed it. Much much love to you beautiful one. ?
Jaigurudeva says
I’ve had that same sensation of numbness, very powerful my dear sweet Butterfly 🙂
jessicakristie says
Thank you so much for reading ? xoxox ?
Vic says
Cannot say a word about what you wrote its so …. forget it cannot put down in words.
jessicakristie says
Thanks for reading Vic, hope that your doing ok! ?
Jay Schryer says
Hauntingly beautiful; sad, yet powerful. As always. You amaze me.
jessicakristie says
Thank you Jay! Always appreciate you reading and your amazing feedback. Means a lot. ?
Michelle says
So much power and sadness behind your words, but all the more beautiful because you reveal intimate vulnerabilities. As always, your words are striking and lovely, like you.?
jessicakristie says
Thank you lovely Michelle! You are sweet and beautiful beyond words. Thank you for reading my love. ?
Richard says
A really nice story. I hope I’m 10% better than that.
-Jezus
crap. i misspelled it.
jessicakristie says
Thank you for reading. Wanting to be better is always the place to start 😉 ?
Dani H says
just a few months
on the other side of the abyss
your words
dragged me back
jessicakristie says
Thanks for reading my dear. Hopefully the dragging was only temporary. Love & Hugs. ?
betweenhearts75 says
It’s hard to describe everything I feel reading your words Jess, because I understand the emotions on some odd personal level too.
A yearning or a wish for things to change, that don’t seem to ever. Off-balance, one-sided, and often used & abused by the one lacking the same strong emotions. What once was warm, becoming cold & callous. Yet oddly still has a grasp. “Lost behind a rescue” <~~ as I look at these words I see awareness, that isn't…quite so lost. So strange though, so strong that is felt at certain moments.
As I search my life I discover a lot that can help in some way through others, art, music, and writing as this. When people view my work they see so much of this sweet romantic view. One more depicted through "inner-eyes" balance I suppose wished. Life however…need I say more….
A lovely lady, you may enjoy reading as well, her name is Rue ~ @RuesBlueStars on twitter ~ fairly new there I believe. Her blog: http://heartofthemermaid.blogspot.com/ ~ her latest post: "To the Father I Never Had" amazed me in its impressions, so I wrote in my comment. She effected me to tears in a public poetry posting on blip for me. If known the whys you'd understand how I'd be so emotional (perhaps you already do..know in some ways)
~Sometimes I am rendered speechless, I found myself in that mode with much gratitude to Rue, hard to describe, and as I read your words I feel that same sense of awe. Though obviously "speechless" has me writing this "book" to you, lol…really I can't help but sit and reflect a little while before typing.
~You, your work…incredible.
Thank you for this! ~April
jessicakristie says
April I love you… you left ME speechless. Just know I love you, hear your heart and completely understand you. ?
poeticphraze says
I lack the words to adequately express the feelings that run through my soul after reading you musings. If I could show you then maybe you would understand that I am amazed by the beauty of your thoughts. If I am ever blessed with a tenth of your talent I will be remembered long after death.
jessicakristie says
I want to take this and frame it… if not on my wall then in my heart. Such precious words from a precious soul. I am humbled and honored by them. ?
Eric says
Time heals all wounds… and wounds all heels.
Nice One Shot, Jessica!
jessicakristie says
Thank you Eric! xoxo ?
signed .............bkm says
Fabulous writing though sad, you capture the pain of love leaving, gone…without rescue…extremely painful – great references to poverty and earthquake….glad I stopped into read…bkm
jessicakristie says
Thank you! So glad you stopped to read too. ?
booguloo says
The poem and the video. I feel like someone just kicked the shit out of me.
jessicakristie says
Aw, I’m sorry *Big Hugs & Smiles* Maybe that will help a bit. ???
booguloo says
Accepted. ..smiles..
Claudia says
unfortunately the video does not work – but i know the song well – one of my favorites – and your words are really powerful jessi
jessicakristie says
Thanks for reading!
I made that note up above the video cause you have to watch it on youtube =( It fit so well and the video itself is super powerful so I wanted to add it anyway. Click on play then “watch on youtube” if you haven’t seen the video yet.
Love to you! XO
Steve Isaak says
Strong, steady piece. Cuts to the hurtful core, this.
jessicakristie says
Thank you so much for reading! ?