What I’m Leaving Behind

I wipe my brow and breathe a sigh of relief for this year coming to a close. It’s been a ride. I would consider this past year somewhat tragic in nature but in the same sweep of motion, astounding. I’ve embraced change both needed and forced. There is a happiness that walks with me to a new year. I feel blessed in my new surroundings and nurtured towards a grander and more capable road ahead.

In my twisted months of challenges and frustration, I’m stepping forward and up. Vowing to leave behind the waste that made my heart and skin feel toxic.

To you I say goodbye:

My fear. There is nothing that will again debilitate me and make me stand still. I will rise. From every ash and every broken foundation.

Living without intention. I move forward with deep intent in each of my decisions. Intent to succeed, intent in each interaction, intent in my hope and love.

Dissatisfaction with today. This moment is my today, why would I waste it on complaints, sadness, or a desire for something more? Years pass like minutes and each moment spent wishing for something other than this right now is precious time flushed away that can never be replaced.

Allowing others to have any control of my happiness. The influence of outside voices can create a deep stronghold on anyone. To muttle through the whispers and wade through the noise can prove to be detrimental with long term effects. I’ve found myself losing faith in those around me on more than one occasion this past year. I’ve often wondered where God’s people have gone as I’ve sat surrounded by bigots and racists wrapping their hate in prayer and using my God’s name to perpetuate their campaigns of fear and ignorance. People too often forgetting that Jesus was a friend of all, and we are all sinners. My prayer for us as we move forward:

“Help us to remember we are all the least of these.
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees.
Nobody knows what we’re for only what we’re against, when we judge the wounded.
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did.
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours”
-Casting Crowns, Jesus, Friend of Sinners

Losing hope. I will find hope, always. I leave behind my sinking feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

More than annually each of us should take time to leave our baggage, our past, our hurt, negativity, and anything else that fills us with pain, behind us.

Leave it all at the door. Leave it at the foot of the bed. Leave it where it can’t be retrieved and reworked into the present.

I know we are all scared of what lies ahead, I pray each of you re-invents yourself to be without fear and find a new strength moving forward that speaks of only joy and hope.

Happy New Year. May it be filled with a deep solace and new beginnings.

Other New Years Posts: Measurements & Beyond this Room.

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