Everybody's Fool

I have seen this before… so many times.  You speak of grandeur while acting in angst.  Pleading and begging to be loved. You deserve to be loved, I would never deny that.  It just hurts to watch you swoon with twisted self loathing clouding your judgment.  You are not the friend you claim to be – so far from it.  That is simply more justification, for your failing grip on what lies beneath.

It breaks me to see the truth.  I wish I could continue like everyone else, believing your bantering lies of prosperity.  I want to fix you – but my love, you are not mine to fix.  You are your own, beautiful in your own right. Not beyond repair or reproach.  A blessing to many, and even a Band-Aid to some.  I don’t discount your effect, and reach to those you have made a connection with.

I, one of the many who love you deeply…
I, one of the few who seem to see your bitter breath

You are full of little jabs and stings. Acting out with jealousy and plaguing yourself with distant walls.  I reach out but am denied.  You see me as an unjustifiable threat; belittling only you in the process.

I love when your sweetness comes through; I hang on and humbly take the bones you throw. I tread lightly knowing the ice is thin. I still venture out…and I still wait for you. You want to bust out of your bondage; I see that with every word…and I wait.

I admire your strength. You always move forward, part with pride and part with fear. I feel your desire to be safe. To search for shelter beneath your fiery throws and poisoned lashings.

You need destruction. You need to break completely so you can come back together – better… stronger.  With all of my heart I wish you stillness long enough to let go of YOU.  Long enough to see beyond that selfish, insecure grasp, which seems to rule – your all too often… pathetic actions.

It is hard to be still
In shifting sand
Hard to breathe
Being dealt this hand
Hard to heal when troubles brew
Hard to love

Being you

Crossroads haunt
But you will be strong tomorrow
See another day

Another chance to start again

Breathe deeply
Take my hand
No need to sit here
In sinking sand

I’m here… and I won’t let you go

 

 

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43 comments

  1. wow. very powerful post. my new favorite of yours.

    “I want to fix you – but my love, you are not mine to fix.” -a sad but true realization. even harder when they haven’t yet “broken completely.” at that point all you can do is sit back & watch it happen. and try not to get hit by the shrapnel. 🙁

    that’s an awesome video, by the way.

    xo

    1. Thank you! The video initially inspired along with some real life experience. It is a balance to love someone through all the BS without getting hurt. Sometimes people are worth it, and sometimes they are not.

      It is not only a reflection on others, but on us too.

      Love & Hugs
      XO

  2. Awesome. I was broken once. There were those still waiting. I had to fix myself. They made it easier. I let go of everything to survive, but I made it.

    Travels

    I have traveled with you in the mind
    A voyage of discoveries in time
    Of all the thoughts you thought were yours
    How many thoughts were really Mine?

    The things you think beyond your reach
    To you may not be clear
    The things to you that seem so far
    Those things exist right here

    There is no lack or limit
    Though you might think there is
    A change in thought is all it takes
    To have the things you wish

    The Secret is that all things are
    And this has all ways been
    You can have it all right now
    Just love the world you’re in

    Copyright 2007
    Rajiam Pursifull

    Take care and thanks for your thoughts.

  3. Your words touched my heart Jessie, the piece, the verse. too powerful, yet tender and absolutely mind blowing. thank you my beautiful poet for being a constant inspiration and a charming ray of light that is just shining 🙂

  4. I always love the pace of your poems. I feel like they are the bass drum of a hard rock band and then in the middle of your poems the electric guitar, rhythm guitar and bass kick in. Each word I can tell is carefully chosen and meticulously placed. Loved it!

  5. W0W Jess
    I wish I could say I didn’t understand this but I do. Poignant and says what it needs to say.

    Moonie hugs

  6. a beautiful and heart felt write…wanting so much for that person…realizing you can not fix them…it feels rather helpless but you still seem to have hope…nice one shot.

  7. Heart-felt writing here. I have been on both sides of your story and I know it well. You’ve described it perfectly. I especially like the sand metaphor…it is so true that the more we fight it alone, the further we sink, and that damn pride keeps some of us from grabbing the out-reached hand that is willing to help pull us out. I have been wanting to stop by here for a while now and I am glad I did today!

  8. That’s some excellent bit of writing, Jessica…wow!! Powerful stuff! Felt like a super reflective piece… recognizing one’s strengths and flaws, and accepting them is a feat by itself…and acting upon them..now that’s another ballgame altogether!!
    Very well expressed in this One Shot, my friend.. Kudos!

  9. Not yet, the reflection of the sun burns my eyes in the mirror.
    Tomorrow’s clouds promise no rains that could possibly blur.
    Hold on. Hold on to me tight I just need your words to nurture.

    Where did that come from.. the inspiration of fallen tears?

    Guess your words were meant for my ears…

  10. I just found your blog the other day so I haven’t read many of your poems…but so far this one is my favorite. (: I love your style and the meaning beyond your words & feelings. I have only just begun writing poems so I could never express myself as well as you do but I hope one day I will (: Amazing poem. <333

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