A Break In My Step

 

Cement tears.
Compacted with confusion.
Burning corners,
and dusted with fear.

I know the unknown traps me.
Slows my footing,
and snaps my vision.
Breaking my moments,
and forcing indecision.

I can’t stabilize my instability,
or fortify my step.
I shake inside
sanity’s walls,
and fall hard
upon your breath.

A wavering commitment
to my foot’s greatest feat.
Questioning my future,
and the strength in my reach.

 

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27 comments

  1. wow…intense…shaking in sanity’s walls…nice word play and vivid image…we will never know what is next until we take the step…nice one shot

  2. Indecisiveness among fear of the unknown prompts paralysis, and does cause those proverbial walls to shake. Riveting, real, yet hopeful due to the effort made through the reach of the final line.

  3. I understand that wavering that comes before you take that first new step. It can be paralyzing to step into the unknown, even though the future is as you say “in reach”.

  4. I felt as though you were on the structure of a skyscraper climbing high above the city cement tears, burning corners, climbing higher without sure footing, never knowing if you’ll fall – but if you can make it there, I’m sure you’ll make it anywhere. A true picture of looking into the unknown and possibly losing your sense of direction.
    Well done. Gay

  5. I really like the lines
    “I shake inside
    sanity’s walls,
    and fall hard
    upon your breath.” — it spoke volumes of the lost feeling, the sense of blankness and nothingness, and then that glint (almost false) of hope seen in another’s eye… followed by further falling-into-the-dungeon feeling.. (sigh)
    What a poem! Gives one a lot to ponder over…

    1. Thank you Kavita. I am glad it made you think. It is always nice to have people read into – and project their feelings into your words. That is what it is all about… finding your own story.

      XOXO

  6. Some wonderful choices here Jess, both in your words,and phrasing. I like the progression in the piece and the way you reinforce previous lines for example

    Cement tears.
    Compacted

    ‘snaps my vision’ is also very effective as it introduces sound into the piece, cleverly done in a line about sight.

    ‘fall hard
    upon your breath’ is one of those lines that I think – damn I wish I’d written that.

    Really enjoyed this piece.

    Thanks

    Carys

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